Writing on Writing II | Artful Balance

For me, writing does for my conversations what meditation does for consciousness.

Namely, it’s a byway for articulation, poise, and calibration, a bit like an investment in future clarity of communication.

Left to my own devices, my mind tumbles through experiences, getting jerked in all directions like a car in a rollover being crushed like a kicked tin can.

My mind simply sees what it sees and gets affected by it; there’s no discretion, pause button, or relief. Because once information hits my cornea that’s it – it’s in there, without permission, like being raped. My consciousness is processing information before I know what I’ve seen and most definitely before I’ve decided whether I want to see it. By the nature of things, both what I see and how I react to it is almost left up to chance.

Kind of like how you are reading this now. The next sentence could be about hammer coming down on a bloodied kitten’s head.

Thought-raped. This is the rapeplay aspect of reading someone’s writing that was mentioned beforehand. Sure, you did the reading. But there is no option to consent to the information before knowing what it was. (From here, I will refrain from ugly acts of thought-rape and only provide pleasant ones.)

But this is what I mean. I only have so much control what those reflexive responses to what I see (including what I read) do to my insides (I, of course, am not talking about internal organs as much as I am about emotions), because we only have so much control over what input we receive. With meditation, though, the chances for processing perplex, difficult, and hurtful information in a way that leaves me empowered instead of stupefied or injured go way up.

And my chances of growing bored, unengaged, or apathetic toward life go down.

That’s how writing is like meditation. In meditation, I get a break from intruding stimuli. Things from before that might have disturbed me float to the surface where I can observe, acknowledge, and sort out them and my reactions to them.

It makes me lighter, more inspired in my future choices.

Writing does the same, but for my conversations and relationships. It helps me sift through all my feelings: the true ones, the random ones, and the ones that at first feel monumental but don’t actually stick.

Without having taken time to write, I am left to the mercy of my impulse and half-baked judgments when I enter a conversation. On the other hand, having had written, I’ve had the chance to ascertain between all the possible feelings I would likely feel on a subject and select the one(s) that feel truest-to-self.

Then my part in conversations doesn’t have to be a reaction, but a thoughtful offering.

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Artful Balance © 2019

These are my personal writings curated from material produced during my structured daily writing times as well as spontaneous thoughts I manage to record. Through organizing and uploading them i hope to learn about who I am as a voice and writer and find ways to improve my writing skills. Though I feel drawn to more cerebral topics, I would like my writing to be an engaging emotional journey none the less.

Someday I hope I figure out a way to assemble my short works into something more coherent and with a more obvious purpose. But right now, these tidbits are the best I can do.