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Affirmation I
Regarding the future in general
What do I want?
I want to be an accomplished, clear-thinking, financially-secure individual with daily focus and calm who reaches her goal of entering the medical field as a doctor.
Why do I want it?
I want to live every day feeling driven, be self-sufficient, have the freedom to select the lifestyle of my choice, and provide my family with a more-than-comfortable standard of living.
What am I committed to doing to get there?
I am committed to rising early, meeting my disciplines each day, studying, keeping up with documentation, and saving as much as I can every day to reach my dream.
Affirmation II
Regarding anxiety
What do I want?
I want to live every day as a free-thinker, so in love with my own growth that everything else becomes background noise. I want to see a day where I know that even if my worst fears come to pass, I will stick to my "me routine," realizing that my influence over that situation has run out, but my control over my "me situation” – my growth, resources, assets, knowledge, skills, credentials, and money – has not.
Why do I want it?
Anxiety happens in life, sometimes for reasons that are real and sometimes for reasons that only exist in my head. Much of the time, anxiety is something that I do to myself. My job is no longer to validate or invalidate my anxiety but to deliberately direct my attention and energy into things that build me into a stronger, more self-reliant person, no matter my mood or circumstances.
What am I committed to doing to get there?
I am committed to rising early to fulfill my morning disciplines in solitude, thereby setting a self-directing tone for the rest of my day no matter how I'm feeling when I wake up, be it placid, bored, unfocused, anxious, grieved, conflict-avoidant, or self-indulgent.
I am committed to filling my day with meaningful activity and daytime disciplines involving actively meditating on my values and chosen direction.
I am committed to deliberate practice in areas that help me exercise my voice and refine the skillsets I will need to reach my goals.
Affirmation III
Regarding my post-baccalaureate program, the MCAT, and med. school
What do I want?
I want to be proficient in all subjects pertaining to my post-baccalaureate program and med. school:
Biology, chemistry, anatomy, physiology, physics, biochemistry, pharmacology, statistics, and more.
Why do I want it?
I want to be able to enter and undergo my post-baccalaureate program, med. school, and the MCAT confidently and competently while "enjoying the ride" of being a student.
What am I committed to doing to get there?
I am willing to create a structured curriculum for daily self-study in each of the above subjects over the course of this year (2019) so that by the time I begin my post-baccalaureate program, I have a grasp of the material.
Affirmation IV
Regarding taking the HSK
What do I want?
I want to leave China having acquired HSK Level VI certification, the highest qualification for proficiency in Chinese as a second language.
Why do I want it?
Being bilingual used to be a majorly influential dream of mine, the driving force behind coming to China in the first place. I would like to see this goal – which was sidelined by depression compounded by adverse circumstances and abysmal knowledge of self-care – through, and have something of an intellectual souvenir to show for my time in China.
What am I committed to doing to get there?
Starting April, I am willing to commence intensive structured self-study in Chinese for the HSK V and VI, to be taken in June and July respectively.
Affirmation V
Regarding writing
What do I want?
I want to be one of the ones who can say "We create every day." My medium of choice is writing. Ergo, I want to be a writer of things that people want to read on topics that are important to me.
Why do I want it?
The written word has been the single-most influential factor in shaping and reshaping, building and tearing down and reconstructing my personal paradigms.
It's also been the primary conduit through which I've achieved clarity on my life (at the times I did have clarity).
To be able to offer my experience to help others through their transitions, their healing, their growth, their pain and to help them elevate on to their next levels, to help them clarify their self-actualization goals, would for me be the highest calling in life.
And through doing so (or attempting to do so), I believe I would be doing the same for myself.
What am I committed to doing to get there?
I am willing to pick up the pen to deliberately practice developing my skill set and voice every day until I am able to consistently compose works with finesse.
I am willing to tweak my approach to practice as I go, and as I notice new ways I can improve.
I am willing to find a structured way to regularly produce completed works, flexing my "production muscle."
I will always prioritize staying true to me and my writing (content-wise, stylistically) over worrying about metrics and attracting a crowd.
I am willing to spend months, years developing my voice and mission before bringing my writing to a platform.
I am willing to try, fail, try, fail, and try again until my writing "takes shape," meaning I've identified my primary areas of focus (right now my writing feels broad and scattered), have found a voice that works for me, have learned how to interweave anecdotes with the points I want to make, and have learned to write for an audience (right now, my writing is exclusively diary-style, written for my private analysis only).
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